Mixed state

Think I'm in a mixed state. I keep having these crying sessions, and then feeling really agitated and terrible. :/ Still the SH going on too, its the only way I seem to be able to cope...

Went to group therapy for the first time on Wednesday, I liked it, the other people in it seem cool. I got really anxious before I went though and SH'd. Seems to be my thing atm. My arms look pretty bad, even though they are only ever shallow cuts there are a lot of them. So I need to be pretty careful about hiding them. A. seems to have accepted it a bit, once he realized that I'm not actually suicidal when I do this.

Okay I'm feeling a bit better now. I just caused a big fight with A. by going on and on about wanting babies (I'm hyper okay), and he got reallly angry at me. Sheesh I wasn't serious, I was just TALKING about the possible future, but anyway he got really upset then we fought and I cried. Then we made up. *sigh* Life is so freaking boring and yet so dramatic at the same time. And I alternate between wanting to die and wanting to do a thousand things at once!!!!!

Yeh I dunno why I put that picture I just did.

Lol I just said to R. "If only I got paid for Pondering, I would be rich."

wow I'm so wise in my ponderings....