I guess on a quick update, I went through this dramatic period of moving house, getting extreme anxiety and panic attacks, and eventually overdosing on oxazepam in a suicide attempt :/ Can't believe I did that, how entirely stupid!! But I am completely fine, and am doing really good now. All it bought me was a couple of days unconscious in freo emergency department, and a trip to Bunbury psychiatric hospital - the only place that a bed was available!
So the Dr there (who was a real assho* by the way) said I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and basically berated me for "doing this to my family and friends." Um, I didn't do it to anyone. I didn't even really do it to myself - I was sick, I had no idea what I was doing!! Omg I can't stand people like that :/ It was awful.
But anyway, now I'm seeing this psychiatrist in Fremantle out-patients, and after talking with me for an hour he basically went: "I completely disagree with the borderline diagnosis, you do not fit the DSM criteria nor do you present with the personality type of a borderline. You are bipolar." I said "THANKYOU, because my long-term psychiatrist says the exact same thing that you've just told me, and has written to freo to complain and say that she's adamant I have bipolar disorder.
I tend to agree with them because
1. I am definitely not promiscuous, and have only ever had sex with one person in my entire life (my partner of 5 years whom I am still curently with)
2. I do not have unstable relationships with others, nor do I get explosive and angry
3. I was absolutely NOT abused as a child, which is common in borderlines
So basically the only traits of borderline I have are unstable mood and self-harm, which are part of bipolar anyway. So I think they just saw a young girl with scars on her arms who overdosed and ASSUMED I therefor MUST be Borderline.
You know one thing that really pissed me off? The Dr at Bunbury said to me: "You're obviously a very intelligent young girl, a musician and a university student. So what are you doing here?"
I was like ummmm... how am I meant to answer that?
What are you doing here? How the f*ck should I know? I guess I have a f*cking disorder - you thing I want to be fucking manic then depressed and suicidal most of the time???
Oh yeh but anyway, look at my new dog, I got him from a rescue shelter. He is a BIG white Wolfhound cross, 18mths old. His name is Napolean. He was so scared and anxious when we first got him but now he luuuuuvvvvs us :D and we luv him nawww xoxoxoxo
PS My aim in life is now to become a crazy dog lady with like 5 huge dogs destroying my home and trying to stand on my head like Napolean does.
~Tam~
