Barking Mad: "Howling Lessons"

BARKING MAD

The Adventures of Napolean, a Very Anxious Therapy Dog

"Howling Lessons"

Napolean, being a wolfhound, has the blood-curdling howl of a wolf. Actually it sounds more like something out of a horror movie like "Hound of the Baskervilles" (Clink link below for an accurate audio representation)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5V012rB1Iw


Napolean likes to take every opportunity to practice his beastly howl. Including the days when I take flute lessons from my house. It begins from the moment the student and parent arrive at our doorstep..

After this warm welcome, we then proceed with the lesson. However, Napolean likes to join in the music:

The student's parent usually waits in the lounge room, where they partake in various fascinating activities like reading books and tablets. Napolean, however, has a memory span roughly equivalent to that of a goldfish. This means that he constantly forgets that the parent is still in the house. As a consequence, every time he wanders aimlessly back into the lounge room, his tiny wolfhound-mind is blown by the apparition of a random human.

Eventually, he will get used to the presence of the parent again, and will wander back into the music room.

This cycle repeats indefinitely...

           
                                                                                                       ..... until the end of the lesson:

... and I wonder why I don't have more students...

*THE END* 

~Tam

BARKING MAD: "New Year Ruffolutions"

BARKING MAD

The Adventures of Napolean, a Very Anxious Therapy Dog

"New Year Ruffolutions"

Napolean the Very Anxious Therapy Dog had a ruff time on New Years Eve. He was forced to accompany me, his Very Anxious Human, to a small party. At first it was scary for Napolean, because he is a Very Anxious Dog, but then, it became rather boring. Quickly, however, Napolean found himself extremely drawn to the large amount of delicious-smelling food on the party table - in particular, some greasy meatballs impaled on small wooden skewers. Napolean had been strictly forbidden to investigate these tantalising dishes. But Napolean was smart. He knew that he only needed to wait for the opportune moment to arise...

Unfortunately, he was spotted by a meddlesome human just as the meatball - skewer and all - disappeared into his mouth.

This caused a flurry of panic amoung the humans, as they seemed to think he might be silly enough to choke on the toothpick. However, Napolean was way smarter than that.

He spat the single toothpick daintily onto the carpet, then tried to look really happy and loveable so as not to be told off for disobeying his human's rules. 

As usual, his good looks won out and after a quick scolding, his human quickly forgave him. However, the night didn't end there. Napolean was then forced to accompany his human down to the river, which was okay, until  explosions suddenly sounded all around him!! Napolean was seized by an utter panic! He ripped his lead out of my hands and began racing in mad circles up and down the river bank. To Ndog, it seemed as though the world was ending, in great explosions of sound and light. How could the humans stay so calm at a time like this?? 

It took half an hour after the fireworks had ended for us to calm Napolean down. But it took another day of rest for him to recover from the emotional trauma of Years Eve, and for me to recover from the draining effect of social interaction. Next New Years, we have decided we are staying in bed and eating meatballs (or maybe tofu in my case). Without the toothpicks.

*THE END (of 2014!)*

~Tam~

Loving Myself And Dogs :)

Last few days I've been feeling a bit down in the dumps. I felt like a wet blanket on New Years Eve, even though I force myself to go out with some friends. Napolean came too and was a bit naughty...  I'll tell that story later complete with computer-drawn comic :D 

Anyway, I felt crappy all day, and I avoided going out for my mother-in-laws birthday by lying and saying I had a stomach bug. But then, this evening I actually got some stuff done. I was proud of it, so thought I'd make a list.

PROUD LIST (Sat 3rd Jan 2015)

1. I have been feeling upset by a few family members lately, but kept it all inside and never spoke to them about it. So, tonight, instead of wallowing in sadness/hurt, I sent some assertive emails about my feelings and explaining why I was feeling hurt by them, but also intimating that I would like to move on from it. I've decided that in 2015 I'm going to respect myself. Keep it classy, but also stand up for myself when I need to. Spent way too long with zero confidence or self respect. No more. If someone steps over the line, I need to assert myself and my boundaries. My friends and family are important to me, but I am also important to MYSELF. And thats okay.

2.  Following on from that... I made my New Years Resolution:  Respect and appreciate myself. Stop hating myself, stop hurting myself and stop kicking myself to the dirt. My existence is on par with anyone elses, I am equally as important.  I CAN and WILL be healthy.

2. Cooked the dogs some yummy mince meat for dinner (Yummy for THEM, I mean, since I'm a vegetarian... :P

3. Walked dogs - two laps round the block.

4. Watered the garden (My plants have been looking pretty dead lately due to neglect)

5. Re-potted some plants, pulled out dead plants (sorry plants, i killed you)

6. Sat down to write a blog entry about my achievements :D

TO DO TONIGHT

7. Make myself a coffee and snack

8. Practice some orchestral excerpts, and the 2nd movement of Nielsen Flute Concerto. I may not have been offered an audition for my current Masters applications, but I will be applying for more soon and I'm going to be prepared to do an impressive performance on short notice.

9. Take sleeping tablet in order to get a good sleep... and cuddle up with my doggies for a good rest and happy dreaming! :)



Below: Am babysitting my Mums dog at the moment, so the two of them have taken over my bed! :P <3 (Can't figure out how to get rid of the date imprinted on the photos... new cheap camera..)

~Tam~

Barking Mad

I don't know if I've mentioned it, but I love the comic series Hyperbole and a Half. I was discussing recently with a friend that I have a tonne of Napolean-the-service-dog stories that are yet to be told. Meshing these two ideas together, I decided to try and create my own comic series using good ol' fashioned "paint."

So here is my first mini trial run - an artistic depiction of the first time I took Napolean to the shopping centre, and the adventures that befell us whilst sitting down for a coffee.

First things first, introductions.

This is my big white hairy wolfhound x dog, Napolean:

This is me; I'm a human:

Napolean is a "Psychiatric Assistance Dog", AKA "Portable Teddy Bear". This is what we look like when N-dog is "working":

 So, this fine day, N-dog and I decided to face our social anxiety fears and go to the local supermarket. We decided to have a break and sit down for a coffee.

Suddenly, we are approached by a batty looking middle aged woman...

... and I'm not deaf, either. This lady had a voice like a frog-horn. There wasn't one person within a 5 mile radius who couldn't hear her. Then she proceeded to ask a very deep question:

While I was trying to come up with a response to this philosophical enquiry, as well as politely point out for a second time that I wasn't actually blind, and that poop was very visable to me,  and that in fact N-dog was well toilet trained....

The lady shuffles off as if she forgot that she were even speaking to me.

After this first encounter, Ndog and I were unsure whether we really were ready to face the outside world. Fortunately for you, dear reader, our bravery prevailed, leading to many more hilarious and weird public encounters ....

THE END (for now...)

Hope you enjoyed it!!

~Tam~

AWKWARD.

So, I was reflected on all the awkward moments in life, and since there are so many of them, I thought I'd make my own personal list of "That Awkard Moment When..." 's . Am sure you will all relate to some of them.

THAT AWKARD MOMENT WHEN...

1.  You try opening the door with the huge "PULL" sign, by pushing it. Or maybe its a "PUSH" sign - but whatever it is, you always do the opposite. There are always people watching and waiting for you to figure out how to open the door so that they too can enter.

2. Someone is walking towards you and you both try to dodge each other but end up colliding instead. You then try to dodge a second time, and collide a second time. You pretend to laugh it off together but really are dying of awkwardness on the inside. This goes on indefinitely.

2. Someone adds you on facebook and starts messaging you like they've known you for years, and you actually have no idea who this person is. You interrupt their big update about their life by going: "excuse me, but I actually have no idea who you are? How do I know you?" They respond simply by typing offended question marks: "??" You feel so awkward that you quickly unfriend this person before you can create any more offensive awkwardness.

3. You're visiting someone and their dog is apparently super attracted to your leg. You refrain urge to kick the dog, and try to gently remove it from your leg, while the host just stands there pretending like their dog isn't currently dry humping their guest.

4. That hot-and-cold "friend" you have decides to ignore you today when you say hello on the way to your lecture room. The friendly smile drops from your face as you try not be offended by this awkward snub.

5. Your enormous service dog lets off a loud and very smelly fart during one of the lectures you are attending. It is a small lecture room, and the windows are closed. You don't know whether to laugh, or get up and open the window, or pretend that it hasn't happened. Apparently the whole class feels the same as they all sit there trying not to react to the horrific stench now wafting through the room. Your service dog is apparently completely oblivious to the awkward discomfit he has caused, and goes ahead and falls asleep, snoring loudly enough to be heard over the lecturer.

6. You happen to be standing near a group of people at university. they are having a convo and you are evesdropping (I mean, its not like you can HELP hearing them, right?) You decide to suddenly join in with what you thought was a hilarious remark. Everyone stares at you in stunned silence. You awkwardly leave before things get worse.

7. A stranger starts up a convo with you at the supermarket. They seem nice so you chat for a moment, ... but it becomes slowly apparent that the stranger is raving mad and you start to become afraid that they'll follow you home and kill you. They are also blocking the isle so you can't move past them, and they are forcibly continuing the conversation while you awkwardly look for a way to escape. You wait for something to distract them then quickly run away while they're not looking.

8. Someone asks you what you did on Sat night, and you awkwardly consider how to answer... as you reflect upon the night you spent eating fish and chips with your mum and your aunty and dog, while the three of you tried to figure out a "Barbie Camper-Van" Toy that is to be bestowed your cousin's kid for their birthday. You don't mention any of this to your friend - nor the full hour it took you to figure out where the pink button was on the Barbie Van that would turn on the music.

9. You're in an opera rehearsal, and you forgot to put your phone on silent. Someone calls you. This is your ring-tone: ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVqkDfDAcoQ




So I decided to put 9 examples. because 9 seems like more of an awkward number than 10. Hope you enjoyed!! :D


~Tam~

CowDog

Just discovered the wonderful blog of my friend Claire at http://plantsandgoldfish.blogspot.com.au/

Omg Claire you are hilarious and I totally relate to your points of view about subway sandwiches, service dogs and various other things.  Apart from using the gym -  I avoid exercise unless its walking my dog. And even that... well, he makes me do it, as he will sit on my foot and make insistent whiny noises until I take him.

This afternoon we walked at the oval, and there were a whole tonne of other dogs down there so he had a fantastic time! Napolean even let one of the other dog-owners pat him - he is getting brave :D

Here are some pictures of us on Halloween night - I was playing in a halloween concert so had dressed up as a cowgirl!

~Tam~

Body-Bind

Roped from the arm to the tight belly-not
A thought or two worries at the end-fray
Dreadful, weedling thought, misting me over:
"Won't you try?" Wont. Can't do it today.

Instead I'll die with the word on and in me
Ferocious, damning should should should should should
And my scolding, Mother-brain cry-shouting:
"Why resent what's bound to do you good??"


~Tam~